The sandwich technique? The indirect technique ? or any others?

Now again and again we have those performance discussions... and when there is this piece of feedback that you are pretty sure the recipient will NOT like, what do you do with it??

There are various schools. I mean this topic has already been killed several times already and yet it does not make it much easier for me, at least.  I have been recently in a seminar led by some Master Trainer from a very respectable company.  One of the teachings was to be indirect in your criticism to your colleagues or team members.  To me, that sounded quite insulting!  Why should I do that?? why should I regard - in my brains - that the recipient is incapable of taking some crispy feedback?

On the other hand, there is also the famous sandwich technique; you mention the good thing, the bad thing and then again the good thing, sort of cushioning the blow to make it less painful.

And then there is the even more famous techinques: of not mentioning it at all or on the other side of the continuum throwing at at the recipient's face like a base ball!

My technique is a made of  respect; in the sense that I do believe the recipient is capable of taking in whatever "crisp" feedback there is and is also capable of changing behavior if he or she so desires.  It also includes a blend of soft heartedness with outspoken assertivness I guess.  So, I say in the end what I believe I have to say, but I also say in a million other ways (direct and indirect) that I do care about this human being sitting infront of me, that I actually I am saying that stuff which might seem not so good because I believe it is important for him or her... and that I am terribly willing to support in any way... and though it is for me, from a heart point of view, a bit tough...yet it is also a bit stretching I think - heart and head wise- for the recipient as well as the sender...me. 

I was talking recently to colleague at work and after some debate and discussion, I said " It is not enough that they know (you care)...they have to feel it, too".

Objectives 2013 or New Resolutions?

It is again this crucial time of the year where we run as HR to prepare for the hirings for the new year, all the Reps. or staff needed by Jan., where we run to finalize our objectives, ensure the performance management cycle and the new salary increase process (if any) is going to happen efficiently and smoothly and on time.

For me, it is also a beginning of a new year in my life, and a new year in general.  So, a few years ago, when I started re-discovering myself, I started to make new year resolutions.  Before that, it was only my work objectives, which seemed more than enough.

This year, I caught myself (as I recently do a lot) doing something.  We say we want the objectives SMART: specific and stretched, measurable, Achievable, Realistic and time bound.  But we don't realize that there is an innate conflict even in this.  Stretched and challenging is what is requested.  This is actually how I define objectives when I explain the performance management cycle " this is not your job description. This is not a continuation of daily routine.  This is something new, different, an initiative that is challenging and that should positively impact the business and the people".  So, you see.. it must be challenging. 

Then, you see again.. it must be achievable (or attainable, whichever word you use) and it must be realistic.  Otherwise, of course, what is the point of dreaming on without bringing on to the real platform of this world some actual positive change...

Problem is we all have different capacities of dreaming and also of realism.  I am reading (or rather playing) with a book called cookology (recommended:) funny and insightful) it includes psychological games.  One of those games said that blowing soap bubbles is a metaphor for dreaming.  So, some blow small bubbles that fly up in the air.  Others concentrate on blowing one enormous bubble.  Some, blow bubbles only to see them fly beyond them...Which one of those are you?

So, back to me, and what I learnt: I blow many many bubbles.  I fill the year with a million tiny bubles that it becomes impossible to see and unfortunately, though the bubbles are blown....the fun is gone. 

My resolution before making new year's resolutions is not to fill the year like this anymore.  The day has a capacity, life has a capacity and I want to enjoy life.  I will fill the year as usual.. but differently.  I will be more realistic when it comes to defining the length of the task... I will not cram everything in the beginning or in the end.. .but will distribute evenly...so that amid the bubbles.... I still leave space to see how business is unfolding... how people are reacting... I will have still the ability to talk and interact ....and most importantly I will leave space for me to breathe ..life.

I Hate appraisals!

The days have passed so quickly and we find ourselves mid-year already, with all its corporate hassle.  For HR, depending on the corporation, it is time for the mid-year appraisals, and even if not, it is advisable to stop and check what objectives we have pulled out together, and which seem to have been forgotten. 

First, let me clarify one thing; an HR professional I am, and I dare admit: I HATE APPRAISALS!  I cannot possibly imagine someone loving it… especially when it comes to “poor performance”.  How can it be nice or easy to tell someone that he messed it up or that he does not seem to be really hard worker or clever or friendly??? Or that his mistakes make you so nervous you feel you are going to blow up… or even worse, that you sometimes feel you want to fire him because you are not sure if there is any hope.  It is even more difficult, if it is not related to performance and objectives, but when the ethics are the issue.  This is really sensitive, critical and not to be compromised, I believe.

I say that, even though I gratefully remember, that in my 360 degree feedback, my team rated me high in “giving clear and fair feedback”, which was a pleasant surprise for me.  Again, however, it is never easy. 

Having a good performance management system is key to help you give feedback.  Without it, it would be like throwing stones anywhere and you might get into an endless debate. 

Here are some of my tips and tricks to do it well.  May be some of them would be helpful:

-          I have devised what I call the “HR Calendar” in which I distribute the objectives on the months of the year, indicating the owner of the project.  I have a monthly meeting with the team, where they explain where they are and the progress of their objectives.  It is a very simple process, I even color code it sometimes to make it look nice, but it helps monitor things and avoid forgetting items or leaving them to the end.

-          I back myself with a belief that is very important to me before going into a difficult appraisal.  Whether the employee likes it or not, it is more unfair to keep them in the dark and then at one point when you and the organization can take it no more, you will be forced to fire this person.  It is more fair, though more difficult, to keep them aware or at least informed of your and the company’s opinion when it comes to their performance.  And then, it would be up to them to take it in, deny it or work on it.  Of course as a manager you have a role but sometimes, it does not work.  The least you can do is to keep them informed.  It might be devastating and shocking if they have no idea and live in self-delusion of being perfect.  The longer they are in this state, the more difficult it is for everyone. 

I am speaking out of experience.  At one instance, there was this person that I had to terminate who was continuously failing in every project along the years, but who actually believed he was excellent.  His manager could not tell him and I decided to do the job.  Believe me I was scared! I was scared he would become physically sick or even do something to himself!

-          Keep your objectives – in general, but even more with low performers- as accurate and specific as possible with figures and timings and resources outlined.  Otherwise, a little piece of info missed can lead you both no-where.  It is only fair for both of you to make things as clear as possible.

-          Document everything as much as you can.. to be fair.  We are all busy and we become forgetful, especially with age J

-          Finally, enjoy the high performers, the value-demonstrating members in your team.  They are fun to appraise. It is joyful - as no other thing- to help others grow.  It is gratifying to guide them.. Empower them... Enthuse them…Engage them... and Enlighten their lives…