Now again and again we have those performance discussions... and when there is this piece of feedback that you are pretty sure the recipient will NOT like, what do you do with it??
There are various schools. I mean this topic has already been killed several times already and yet it does not make it much easier for me, at least. I have been recently in a seminar led by some Master Trainer from a very respectable company. One of the teachings was to be indirect in your criticism to your colleagues or team members. To me, that sounded quite insulting! Why should I do that?? why should I regard - in my brains - that the recipient is incapable of taking some crispy feedback?
On the other hand, there is also the famous sandwich technique; you mention the good thing, the bad thing and then again the good thing, sort of cushioning the blow to make it less painful.
And then there is the even more famous techinques: of not mentioning it at all or on the other side of the continuum throwing at at the recipient's face like a base ball!
My technique is a made of respect; in the sense that I do believe the recipient is capable of taking in whatever "crisp" feedback there is and is also capable of changing behavior if he or she so desires. It also includes a blend of soft heartedness with outspoken assertivness I guess. So, I say in the end what I believe I have to say, but I also say in a million other ways (direct and indirect) that I do care about this human being sitting infront of me, that I actually I am saying that stuff which might seem not so good because I believe it is important for him or her... and that I am terribly willing to support in any way... and though it is for me, from a heart point of view, a bit tough...yet it is also a bit stretching I think - heart and head wise- for the recipient as well as the sender...me.
I was talking recently to colleague at work and after some debate and discussion, I said " It is not enough that they know (you care)...they have to feel it, too".
There are various schools. I mean this topic has already been killed several times already and yet it does not make it much easier for me, at least. I have been recently in a seminar led by some Master Trainer from a very respectable company. One of the teachings was to be indirect in your criticism to your colleagues or team members. To me, that sounded quite insulting! Why should I do that?? why should I regard - in my brains - that the recipient is incapable of taking some crispy feedback?
On the other hand, there is also the famous sandwich technique; you mention the good thing, the bad thing and then again the good thing, sort of cushioning the blow to make it less painful.
And then there is the even more famous techinques: of not mentioning it at all or on the other side of the continuum throwing at at the recipient's face like a base ball!
My technique is a made of respect; in the sense that I do believe the recipient is capable of taking in whatever "crisp" feedback there is and is also capable of changing behavior if he or she so desires. It also includes a blend of soft heartedness with outspoken assertivness I guess. So, I say in the end what I believe I have to say, but I also say in a million other ways (direct and indirect) that I do care about this human being sitting infront of me, that I actually I am saying that stuff which might seem not so good because I believe it is important for him or her... and that I am terribly willing to support in any way... and though it is for me, from a heart point of view, a bit tough...yet it is also a bit stretching I think - heart and head wise- for the recipient as well as the sender...me.
I was talking recently to colleague at work and after some debate and discussion, I said " It is not enough that they know (you care)...they have to feel it, too".
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